Is my pet a mirror of my own insecurities? While exploring my own guilt around the belief that I caused my chihuahua Tater Tot to be highly anxious and aggressive, I discovered a term called entrainment. It first came to my attention in the book, Quantum Love by Dr. Laura Berman. In the book, Dr. Berman describes being able to use the newly acquired knowledge of quantum physics to enhance our relationships. She intended it for human relationships, but I began getting curious about how it helped me relate to Tater differently as well.
Quantum physics is a field of study that’s still relatively cutting edge even though it has been around for decades (or longer). Quantum physics has been providing proof that everything is energy. As such, everything has a vibrational frequency (including our thoughts and beliefs). This field is vast and complex and two of my favorite books that helped me understand this from a healing and relational perspective besides Quantum Love are The Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton and Tuning the Human Biofield by Eileen Day McKusick.
In this post I will focus specifically on how we can use our knowledge of quantum physics in our relationships with our pets, other humans, and ourselves. The more we recognize ourselves and others as energetic beings, the more intentional we can become about how we interact with one another. One of these ways is through entrainment. Mirriam-Webster defines entrainment as: to draw along with or after oneself. My interpretation of it from an energetic relational standpoint is: to match the vibrational frequency of another.
The dominant frequency will entrain the non-dominant frequency or vibration to its level as shown in musical studies using string instruments. When one string instrument is played in the key of C, the other string instruments at rest and free to vibrate in that same room begin visibly and audibly playing in that same key. There is no judgment on an energetic level, so this can work both ways in our relationships. We can see this on days when we are in a great mood having had a relatively easy, peaceful day and our spouse comes home from a hard day of work. Either we raise them up into our easy, peaceful vibration or as it more frequently happens, they entrain us into their lower angry, frustrated vibration.
I began focusing my efforts on being the dominant vibration in my relationship with Tater Tot. I began meditating regularly, I returned to seeing a therapist, I refocused my efforts on eating healthy high vibrational foods, and continued practicing energy work on us both (for a list of specific tools/techniques/foods and other efforts I practiced to raise my vibration, see this post). I only worked on training Tater when I was in a grounded and confident state of being. If either of us was in a bad mood, I allowed time for us to cuddle, connect, and play.
Practicing entrainment still didn’t answer my question of whether I caused Tater’s anxiety in the first place or not. I continued to study what it means to be an energetic being. While I don’t have the scientific answer for you yet, I have come to understand that we can’t create someone else’s experience. We are only capable of creating our own. We can’t even force the entrainment. The other party must be a vibrational match and willing to match our frequency. This resonates as Truth in my body. It makes sense in my mind. As I communicate with other beings in nature, they confirm this as well. Therefore, I couldn’t have created the anxiety and aggression in Tater. It already resonated within him and as part of our soul contract (which I talk about more in this post), he agreed to join me in this life so that we both had the opportunity to learn to move beyond that particular frequency.
My own fear and guilt were keeping me from my greater expression of unconditional love. Once I had the understanding that I didn’t cause Tater’s behavioral issues, I was free to let go of the guilt. Once I practiced and witnessed my ability to entrain Tater into a higher vibrational frequency, I felt empowered. Today I continue to practice raising my vibration while Tater continues to show me where I am at and where I can improve. Nowadays, he spends about 20% of his day searching for reasons he is unsafe, 20% of the day spent in fear and anxiety. That’s a far cry from the 90% he started out at. Nowadays, he glances back at me first when he believes there is danger searching for signs that I am fearful and when I resonate out love and peace, he settles back down knowing everything is ok. This is what it looks like when animals use true alpha-dominance in their packs. This is what love looks like in nature.
Did you know that you already have the answers you need within you? As an animal communicator, I frequently get calls asking for advice. Before connecting with the animal in question, I first ask discovery questions to find out what my client already knows – and I don’t mean what they know about the situation, I mean what they already know in their hearts is the right answer.
Last summer I got a call from a client, Sarah who rescued another large dog from a shelter. She already had a handful of large dogs and wanted to adopt this dog out to another family especially because of the tension between this new dog and her other pack members. By the time she called me she felt stressed, confused and directionless. She knew it made sense to adopt this dog to another family, but something inside of her kept coming up with ways to keep her for one more day, one more week. She wanted me to speak with Daisy and ask her what she preferred.
Before I connected with Daisy, I worked with Sarah. Her energy felt chaotic and tight. I invited her to take a few deep breaths and connect with her heart. Once I felt her energy calm I asked her a simple question, “what do you want for Daisy?”
She answered honestly, “I want her to be in a good, loving home.” I followed up with, “Do you think you can provide that good, loving home?”
With her eyes closed, Sarah answered, “yes.” Her eyes shot open and she instantly fell back into the chaotic, tight energy. “But, what if she keeps fighting with my other dogs? What if I don’t have enough space? What if it is the wrong decision for her?”
I returned Sarah to the calm, grounded space through her breath. I asked her to connect with Daisy through her heart. I guided her to ask Daisy what she wanted.
“I can’t hear her.” So, instead I asked Sarah to tell me what she felt. Returning her attention to the connection between her heart and Daisy’s she shared, “I feel warmth, joy, love.”
“Do you think Daisy wants to go live with another family?” I asked. “No, I think she wants to stay here as much as I want her to.”
“I feel those same things coming from her. I think she has given you her answer.”
Daisy remained with Sarah and her family. They had challenges to overcome as she integrated Daisy in with the rest of the pack, but once Sarah made the decision to keep Daisy, she never looked back.
All too often, we are so caught up in the stories in our head of the way things should be that we lose the ability to gain access to our innate inner wisdom. This wisdom is found not in the brain, but in our body and our energy field (or BioField). To access this wisdom we must first connect with our body, then allow for the wisdom to inform us. Here is a great, quick technique for accessing it.
- Take a long, deep, slow breath. Inhale into your lungs allowing them to expand and fill your belly. Exhale slowly and with control until all the air is out of your lungs. Do this two more times expanding the exhale even more with each breath.
- Place your hands on your heart as you direct your attention there as well.
- Become aware of your body. Begin with your toes and notice any tension as you go up your legs, past your hips, along your torso, down your arms, paying special attention to any tension in your shoulders and neck, then up your head to the crown.
- Soften any areas that continue to hold tension, do not require the tension to dissolve, simply soften in to those areas as you allow them to be as they are.
- Now you are ready to ask the question that you wish to have clarity on.
- Notice how your body feels when you ask the question. You will know that you have arrived at the most aligned answer when your body feels warm, relaxed, spacious, or relieved. If you have any tightness, rigidity, tension, or retraction, or have simply jumped back into the stories in your head, this is not an aligned answer for you and your situation.
- Accept the answer as it has come to you knowing that you can choose to act on it or not, but at least you have clarity. Thank your body for that clarity.
This process takes practice. Over time you will get very familiar with your body’s natural responses and clarity will come that much faster and easier. Understanding how to access your Truth (the answers and wisdom within you) allows you to make more aligned decisions in all areas of your life, whether it is about your pet, your family, your work, or yourself.