But, it wasn’t my fault, it was hers!

Don’t take things personally. Become nonreactive to the people who offend you. Every reaction someone has to you is a reflection of their story and has nothing to do with you. Great. Got it. But, what to do in the meantime when you get really pissed off?

Like everything on our spiritual growth, this is a practice. The first step is awareness. Become aware when you are being triggered by someone else’s actions. This may not happen right away. As a matter of fact, you may not even recognize it happened for days or weeks! But, regardless of how long it takes to recognize, congratulate yourself when the awareness happens. This is the beginning of non-reaction.

The next step is to practice becoming aware sooner. The more you recognize your triggers, the quicker you will recognize them until you are able to realize in the moment that you are triggered. How do I recognize I’m being triggered? A trigger may feel like an irrational anger or finding yourself repeating the story of what happened over and over again. The reason we get triggered is because the aspects of ourself that need to be healed have been touched. (I will dive into the practice of healing in a future blog)

Next, we can begin to practice deep breathing in the moments when we are triggered and this is where we begin to witness our Truth. We see that the reaction we are having has nothing to do with the story and everything about a need to be healed. We witness that the other person’s reaction has nothing to do with us and everything to do with their own experiences and need for healing.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

This has been a practice I have been working on for a few years. This morning the perfect opportunity for growth presented itself. I was out for my daily run and as I was crossing a main road, I noticed a woman making a right hand turn in my direction who didn’t appear to be slowing down. Fine. I slowed down. But, then she did slow down, so I continued running across until I realized slowing down was all she was willing to do. She continued coming in my direction and I knew if I didn’t race my way across I would be hit and it was too late to let her pass. I was livid! Who does this? She clearly saw me and had no respect for my right to cross. She wasn’t obeying the unspoken rule of stopping a fair distance away to allow me to cross.

I yelled and cursed at her as I continued to pray not to be hit. After safely crossing the road, I let out a few more curse words and then recognized that I was triggered. Of course, who wouldn’t be in that case, right? The thing is, was I willing to allow that to take up any more time out of my day or was I willing to see that she was in her story and I was in mine? I knew I didn’t want to waste any more energy on wondering why she did this or continuing to curse her for her actions and I wasn’t sure I could do this on my own, so I prayed to the angels. I invited the Angel of Light to shine some peace on this woman’s heart and heal whatever was inside her that caused her to feel she needed to rush her way through life. I then asked for the same thing for me. Within seconds I felt chills run through my body as I knew the work was being done.

That was over 6 hours ago and this is the first I have thought of that situation again. I know that my practice led me to the place of being able to be nonreactive. And, it was only in this nonreactive state that I remembered the Angels are always available for assistance. Practice and ask for help. Before you know it, peace will become your natural state of being.

Blessing you all with light and love,

xo

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